How to Help a Child with Anxiety: 7 Coping Skills You Can Use Tonight

1. Listen before you try to solve

When a child is anxious, a quick “Don’t worry” may be meant kindly, but can leave them feeling alone with the worry. Try first to listen and reflect what you notice.

You don’t need to agree that the feared outcome will happen. You can acknowledge the feeling without confirming the fear: “That sounds scary to you. I’m glad you told me.”

Some children can describe a worry directly; others may communicate through clinginess, irritability, or physical complaints. Give them time, and avoid turning the conversation into an interrogation. A little quiet company can help too.

It looks like tomorrow’s school trip is on your mind. What part feels hardest?

2. Try a few slow, comfortable breaths

Practice breathing when your child is relatively calm, so the skill feels familiar when anxiety rises. Invite them to rest a hand on their belly and notice it move as they breathe. You might say, “Let’s take three slow breaths together,” breathing in and out comfortably.

Keep it easy. Don’t require a particular count or tell a child to take a huge breath. If focusing on breathing makes them uncomfortable or dizzy, pause and return to normal breathing. You can try another skill instead.

3. Bring attention back to the present

Anxiety can pull a child’s attention toward what might happen. A simple sensory activity can help them notice what is here, right now.

Try a child-sized version of “notice and name”:

Make it a low-pressure game, not a test. A familiar soft toy, a cool glass of water, or describing the room together may also help your child reconnect with the present.

• Name three things you can see.
• Notice two things you can feel, such as your feet on the floor.
• Listen for one sound nearby.

4. Find words that make room for worry and courage

Children may think they must feel completely calm before they can try something. A helpful coping phrase makes space for the worry while reminding them that a small step may still be possible.

Together, you might practice:

Use words that feel believable to your child. Instead of promising “Nothing bad will happen,” you can offer reassurance you can stand behind: “I’ll help you make a plan, and we’ll work out what to do next.”

• “I feel worried, and I can ask for help.”
• “My body feels nervous. Let’s see what might help.”
• “I can try one small step.”

5. Break a hard situation into small steps

Avoiding something can bring short-term relief, but if anxiety is repeatedly keeping a child from everyday activities, it may help to work toward a manageable step rather than expecting them to tackle everything at once. Talk with your child about what feels difficult and what might be an easier first step.

For example, a child worried about a new activity might first hear what to expect, then visit the room with a trusted adult, and later try a short part of the activity. Notice and praise effort: “You were nervous and still came in to look around.”

Don’t surprise or force a child into a feared situation. For persistent or intense anxiety, a qualified professional can help plan gradual steps that are appropriate for the child and situation. The American Academy of Pediatrics’ guidance for families also describes practicing skills, praising brave behavior, and gradually facing fears.

6. Use stories, drawing, and play to explore feelings

Children often find it easier to talk about a character’s feelings than their own. A story, drawing, or pretend game can offer a gentle opening: “What do you think this character is worried about?” or “What might help them feel supported?”

When choosing anxiety books for kids, look for language and activities that suit your child’s age and invite conversation rather than promising a quick fix. Magic in Your Mind, a picture book by Michael Starr, LICSW, is designed for children ages 5–9 and includes coping skills, coloring pages, and activities. You can also find it through the Rise Life Enrichment website.

A book is a resource for connection and practice, not a substitute for individualized support when a child needs more help.

7. Make a small plan together

Some worries become more manageable when a child knows what to expect. Before a challenging moment, make a simple plan together: Who can they go to for help? What is one thing they could try? What will happen first?

For a school worry, it may help to talk with the teacher or school counselor about a consistent check-in or a gradual plan. At home, predictable routines around bedtime, mornings, and transitions can provide a sense of steadiness. The NHS guide to anxiety in children also recommends listening, helping children find solutions, and using routines where possible.

When a coping skill isn’t enough

It’s normal for children to feel anxious sometimes. Consider reaching out to your child’s pediatrician or a mental health professional if anxiety persists, gets worse, or regularly interferes with sleep, school, friendships, play, or family life. Frequent stomachaches or other physical complaints around certain situations may be worth discussing with a pediatrician, too.

Support doesn’t mean you have failed to find the right coping skill. It means you’re taking your child’s experience seriously and looking for help that fits. A therapist can work with you and your child to understand what’s driving the anxiety and consider next steps.

Rise Life Enrichment and Consulting Services offers virtual therapy in New York, Virginia, West Virginia, Florida, South Carolina, Ohio, and Kentucky. Learn more about counseling services or schedule a virtual session if your child’s worries are making everyday life difficult.